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STFU Haters

May 21, 2010

In my recent sojourns across the world wide interwebs, I came across the very moving post An Open Letter To Anyone Who Has Experienced My Son’s Meltdowns. It’s a heartfelt, funny, sarcastic, blunt and ultimately enlightening letter from the mother of a boy who has Asperger’s to a world that doesn’t really know what to do with him. She manages to explain a lot of the symptoms of Asperger’s and how they manifest in her son specifically while also speaking to the difficulty of parenting a child with ASD (and a lot of that difficulty has to do with other people not understanding her son, more so than his condition).

I’m sorry he turned down your offer of…
a) yogurt.
b) hot cereal.
c) crackers (except Goldfish).
d) cheese (except on pizza).
e) salad with dressing (except Ranch).
f) cooked vegetables (except broccoli).
g) parsley, cucumbers, tomatoes, salsa, or avocados.

He won’t eat them at home either. He used to adore canned pineapple and peaches, peanut butter sandwiches, and tuna fish. Not anymore. There was one brand of tomato soup that he loved, but I can’t figure out which one it was.

The take home point of the piece is basically STFU and step off before you try to tell me what I should/shouldn’t do with my son. I think she addresses a really common tendency of people to know just what everyone else should do with their lives (especially with relation to disabled/non-neurotypical people). The piece isn’t too long, and is very amusing so I would definitely recommend reading the whole thing.

2 Comments leave one →
  1. Jill permalink
    May 21, 2010 5:26 PM

    This is great. I think it also has broader appeal to parents of neurotypical children who also often behave in ways that aren’t “socially acceptable.” People seem to have this belief that parents can just magically train their children to do xyz thing that makes them act more like adults, or more acceptably to adults. This assumption obviously comes to bear a bit heavier on many parents with non-neurotypical children.

    Thanks for the link!

  2. May 23, 2010 12:47 PM

    Thanks for sharing this; it is fantastic. I think it’s important to consider this when we think about everyone we see in public, not just parents. We don’t know what’s going on in other people’s lives, and therefore, we can’t judge things that may seem atypical to us.

    Great post!

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