Quick hit: rolling the boulder.
Yes Means Yes, which we’ve mentioned a million times before, is continually a book I can go to back to and be reinvigorated. Here’s Kate Harding from her piece, “How do you fuck a fat woman?”
Believing that we can be desirable, that we deserve to be loved, that that guy over there really is flirting should not be a goddamned daily struggle. It should not feel like rolling a boulder up a hill.
But it does. So the question is, which boulder are you going to choose to roll? The “most lose weight” boulder or the “fuck you, I will boldly, defiantly accept the body I’ve got and live in it” boulder? It’s backbreaking and frequently demoralizing work either way. But only one way can lead to real sexual power, to real ownership of your body, to real strength and confidence.”
Oh and Jaclyn Friedman’s (the book’s editor) answer to how do you fuck a fat woman?