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I am not my hair

May 9, 2009

I decided a few weeks ago to cut my hair short for the summer. I was just going to cut it to my chin or so, but because of a sort of crisis inspired by my imminent graduation, I ended up going whole hog and got it cut very, very short. My decision was also heavily influenced by that fact that I had been listening to this song by India.Arie everyday for weeks. Every time I heard it, I would think “you’re right India, I am not my hair” and I worked up the courage to get rid of it.

My hair has always been one of my best features. The last time I cut my hair even close to this short was back in sophomore year of high school. My hair was incredibly long before the cut (I cut off 16 inches!) and I had become rather vain about it. That cut was definitely inspired by the desire to make myself less egoistic through having less hair to be prideful about.

I would like to say that this recent cut also had a similarly self-improving impetus, but I think it was mostly that I needed a change. And in some ways, this cut has actually called more attention to my hair than I want. I’m sure that will calm down in a few more days once people get used to my new do. But for now, this haircut has almost made me more vain about my hair.

What does your hair mean to you?

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One Comment leave one →
  1. Ashley permalink
    May 10, 2009 11:36 AM

    Hair is an interesting thing and one that ultimately I think a lot of people spend far too much time thinking and talking about; I’m guilty of this myself sometimes. I like my hair, I don’t bitch or complain about it, it’s curly/sometimes really frizzy and red and that’s great. But I sometimes fantasize about shaving it all off; when I was around 11 I told my mom that I wanted to shave it and just buy a shit ton of wigs. I still think about doing that sometimes. One day I really do think I just want to shave it all, or at least chop it very short because like you said there’s something liberating about just taking the scissors or the razor to your hair; when I started work about six or seven months ago I chopped my bangs very short just to get them out of my way. And it’s always interesting the ways people react to YOUR hair; someone told me that “I didn’t look like Ashley anymore” without my long bangs. My mom continually tells me that if I keep cutting my hair (or ever fucking shave it) she’ll be upset. People connect and get attached to hair in a strange way. But for my hair, sometimes I believe that I could take it or leave it. But other times I don’t really know how true that is. Maybe some day you’ll all see me with a bald head and wouldn’t that just be awesome?

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