CAPTION CONTEST: Help me deface this bally total fitness ad.

In the women’s bathroom of my favorite bar, in every single stall is this horribly stupid ad from bally total fitness that reads:

If you’ve got it, flaunt it. If you don’t, try Bally Total Fitness.

Of course, this text is accompanied by a picture of a slim HEADLESS white woman in a bikini. Making clear that she’s “got it”, and if you don’t look like her, say because you’re non-white, wear the average woman’s size or have head, that you don’t got it and certainly should not flaunt it.

These ads have been up forever and its time to take a stand for all my beer drinking comrades. I’ve got a sharpie, you just gotta help me figure out what to write.

There are three of them up so we can have THREE WINNERS. Each receiving a PERSONALIZED PHOTO of the defacing you helped contribute to. And an IN PERSON HUG.

Huff Post Women: Blurg

Okay, I don’t read the Huffington Post very much, so I’m little late to the game on this one, but I was linked to an article today and was taken to the Huff Post Women’s section. Magically, the whole HuffPo blog turned pink. With articles covering “Is This New Site An ‘OkCupid’ For Bra Shoppers?”, “5 Ways to wear black jeans” and “He was my best friend… and then he met her”. Oh yeah, and I actually read that boob-y article. Turns out, the very legitimate survey from MyVoucherCodes.VOM.uk found that 1/3 of women would trade their IQs for bigger breasts. The schematics of how this trade would take place (or more importantly, how the question was framed) were not detailed. At the end of the article, which talks about women feeling more highly valued by their appearance than their intellect in the most shallow way possible, they do actually give a shout-out to  National Eating Disorder Week, and you know, body acceptance being an important issue for women. But thanks for leading with the boobs, Huff Po, way more interested in the part about the boobs.

When the new Huff Post Women page was launched, editor Margaret Wheeler Johnson wrote that the goal was

“to incorporate more female voices into the larger conversations being had across all of our verticals. We’re a platform women can stand on while telling the stories that matter to them, and we’re making sure those stories get heard loud and clear.”

UGH. Super important idea being executed sooooooooo wrong. I totally want to hear more women speaking on Politics, Business, Tech, etc! Those stories matter to me. And I ESPECIALLY want to read more articles that incorporate a gendered or feminist analysis into the discussion of the topic in every segment of Huffington Post. What I don’t need is more articles about clothes & boys & lame-ass studies. Or to be segmented out like women are the only people who’d every want to read about love & sex & horoscopes & books.

Oh and super cool – If you want to read anything on Huff Po by people of color you can click the “More” tab and read BlackVoices or Latinovoices. There’s a  Gayvoices section too. No word yet on which tab to go to if you’re a queer woman of color.

C’mon Get Happy: HB Link Love

Hey you happy bodies.  Here’s what I’ve been reading this week. Share with me what you’ve been reading & writing!

• Newt Racism: The Racially Coded Language of Presidential Candidates (Sociological Images): As Larry Wilmore says, “It’s 2011, you can’t just say black people are lazy”. Instead, you just imply it. 
• Long-Term Worldwide Decline in Abortions Has Stalled, and Unsafe Abortions Have Increased (Guttmacher Institute): Icky to hear, but important facts to know.
• Sometimes being rude is the acceptable response (Womanist Musings): It always bothers me that what’s considered to be the most “rational” response to an argument is the one that’s the most emotion-less. If someone says something really damaging and offensive, couldn’t getting angry be the most rational thing?
• Do You Feel Safe Running Alone? (Hello Ladies): This really describes my feelings of being alone in public spaces.
• Shuffling Feet: a black man’s view on Schroedinger’s Rapist (Free Thought Blogs): Really thought-provoking! A reflection on the concept of Schroedinger’s rapist, from a man who is often viewed in public spaces as threatening – both due to his race & gender. A great analysis of the intersections of anti-black racism & sexism.
• If I Can’t Dance, Is it Still My Revolution? An interview with AJ Withers (Shameless Magazine): Great overview on radical disability activism, what it’s about, how it differs from mainstream disability activism, and how to be an ally.
• The postnatal body project (F-Word Blog): “. But the overriding message to new mothers today is an amplification of that to the female consumer in general: now you’ve got some work to do, and we’re not talking about lactation. “
• Support Stand4Kids (Communications of A Fat Waitress): A great response to those horrible posters in Georgia.

 Plus some fun stuff:

• Yo, is this racist – I linked a round-up last time, but I have now literally read every entry of this blog. It is too good to miss.
• Hand Job Time Machine - I just can’t get over the title of this one.
• #LGBTfacts - In response to a wack twitter account making up fake, harmful facts. Some people started making up their own, better versions.

“MissMaryMax: If you play the ellen show at double speed, you can hear the minutes for the monthly Meeting Of All The Lesbians. #lgbtfacts“

Our Intimate Wars [Blog for Choice Day 2012]

I was expecting to celebrate Blog for Choice day the same way I always do – by forgetting to write anything. But at the very least this year I want to mention this really great series:  Intimate Wars  appearing at Fem2.0 and On the Issues Cafe January 17-18, 2012 in celebration of the anniversary of Roe v. Wade and the release of Merle Hoffman’s memoirs, Intimate Wars.

The series centers women’s personal stories of their relationships with their bodies and reproductive rights. To me, “Intimate Wars” is such an evocative and accurate name to describe these relationships. The major realization we had when starting Happy Bodies, and the reason this blog began is that every body has a story to tell. These stories can be heartwrenching, triumphant, silly or tragic, but always dynamic. And for many of us, it’s felt like a war. It’s empowering to tell these stories, and unifying to share them with others.

The debate of reproductive rights and abortion accessibility is heated. People are angry. People are hurt. People are name-calling, and shouting and disrespecting each other. It’s partisan. It’s nasty. It’s black and white.

And the women who are faced with these decisions are caught in the middle. Their bodies become the battlegrounds of this war. I have watched, as a clinic escort, women screamed at and verbally abused as they walk into the clinic for their operation, surrounded by pictures of dead fetuses. I’ve listened, too many times, to privileged white people talking about “welfare queens”, unfit mothers, “octo-mom” and how irresponsible it is for poor women to have children.

I have no idea what it feels like to make this decision. I’m lucky to have not been faced with this choice yet. I’ve got ideas about what I would do, but I really don’t know. In this battleground of ‘pro-choice’ or ‘pro-life’, there are so many factors that come in to the real decisions women make, that are beyond what they want for their own body: what their family wants, what the father wants, what they can afford, what is accessible to them, what their faith says, what their church says, what is the most discreet option, whats is the safest option. For some, there is a great stigma to deciding to terminate a pregnancy and for others there is judgement for having a child when others deem the situation unfit. In many cases women face coercion, manipulation, or violence related to making this decision.

My strong belief in body sovereignty leads me to be firmly pro-choice, and for accessibility to all reproductive options. I get heated to in response to things like HR 358 passing the House, the huge amount of anti-Choice legislation passed in the last year, and the spinelessness of the Democratic leadership in defending women’s reproductive rights.

But I think there is a need to re-focus, re-center, and remind ourselves where this battle over reproductive choice is really being fought. It’s an intimate war.

HEY EVERYBODY

Just a reminder:

Being fat doesn’t make you unhappy.

Being bullied, berated and shamed for your body does make you unhappy.

Hating your body makes you unhappy.

Not all fat people are unhappy.

Not all thin people are happy with their bodies.

Being fat isn’t the worst thing that can happen to you.

Being fat isn’t the problem.

Being surrounded by people who are jerks about it is.

So stop doing bullshit like this:

Instead, let’s talk about how weight is the number one reason why children are bullied. And how many kids hate their bodies so much that they are on diets. And maybe how enocuraging kids to accept and celebrate their bodies rather than to hate them might be a lot better solution.

 Becky out.

C’mon Get Happy: HB Link Love

I wanted to quick hits for all of these but I thought I would save you some time. Here are some people writing stellar things on the interwebs. Also, I’ve been using our twitter again to post links - come say hi - @happybodiesblog

• This is the Size I Come in (Dances with Fat) : Eloquently & comprehensively taking on the “waaaaahhh but I have less room on the airplane” argument.
• Radical Black Reading, 2011 (The Public Archive): Head over to the library, a lot of these look really good.
• Being Mad on Twitter (Margaret Cho): Margaret Cho gets angry about fat-shaming and insulting comments on twitter, and I love it.
• Women’s Work (Shakesville): On the Democratic Party assuming it has the women’s vote, and what it has done to reproductive rights in this country.
• Fat-Positive Shopping Is About More Than Garments (this ain’t livin’): “Some stores only offer larger sizes online, for fear of having actual fat people in their storefront, which would of course upset the other customers. Finding environments that don’t just sell a wider range of sizes but actively welcome the people who wear them is rare and such spaces are to be treasured.”
• ‘They’ is Me. (Ivan Coyote):  On the what should be a pretty easy thing to do: “Call us what we wish to be called.”
• Did Abstinence-Only Ideology Create a Bully Generation? (RH Reality Check): A well researched article on how ab-only sex education creates a culture of bullying by relying on sexist stereotypes, espousing anti-lgbt views, and engaging in slut-shaming & victim-blaming.

And a little humor to end with:

• Racism Antidote (Nth Wave of Feminism): A round-up of the best posts from Yo, Is This Racist?

Oh yeah, and let us know what you’ve been reading & writing this week – we’d love to hear from you!

Quick Hit: “But You’re not Fat!”

In a really stellar article from Dead of Winter, Joanna discusses a common reaction to learning of a friend’s eating disorded behavior: “But she’s/you’re/he’s not fat!”  She elaborates on three reasons why this person has TOTALLY MISSED THE POINT.

#1: What do you call fat? Some people begin their eating disordered behavior as a result of being told they were “overweight” by their doctors. What the BMI considers ”overweight” is vastly different from what the average person identifies as such. People differ in their personal standards as well. What some people call average or “pleasantly plump” might be unacceptably fat to some. … What culture does that person hail from? Cultures differ in their standards, just like individuals do. Maybe your culture does not consider that person fat, but theirs does.

…

#2: EDs, by definition, distort the patient’s perception of reality. Telling someone with an ED, “You’re not fat! Stop it!” makes about as much sense as telling someone with psychosis, “He’s not real! Stop talking to him!” Some people with EDs are *incapable* of perceiving that they’re not fat.

…

#3: You don’t need to be fat to be damaged by an ED. For some reason, people think EDs are safe over a certain weight limit. You’re not fat, but THAT person over there that weighs 200 pounds should spend some time with her head in the toilet bowl. He’s not fat, but that chunker over there should NEVER be allowed to eat again!

This last point is so key.  EVEN IF THEY ARE “FAT”, EATING DISORDERED BEHAVIOR IS DISORDERED. Saying “But you’re not fat!” implies that there is a line where over a certain size or weight this behavior would be okay. Creating this line is really dangerous. Because those suffering with ED already have a distorted body image and everyone’s sense of where that line is is different, you are inevitably reinforcing that this behavior could be safe for them. As Joanna says, “EDs do not discriminate, and EDs are life-threatening. Period. They are not safe for people of size, and they aren’t safe for the straight sizes.”

And I need you now tonight / And I need you more than ever.

From the draft archives. I started writing this in the summer of ’09 in preparation for my position as an Associate at the Gender & Sexuality Center. I think the post was intended to be a lot longer than this, but I have no memory of where I was going, so I’m keeping it as a reflection on movement leadership.

You’ll have to forgive this post, I love to intellectualize activism and rather than sitting down to a pleasant novel this summer, I’m reading a gigantic anthology about gender and sexuality. The set of readings were collected by the Gender and Sexuality Center in order to prepare someone to work on these issues. The very first reading is entitled, Tools for People Working for Social Change in a Society Based on Domination and is simply a list of things to do or think about as an activist working for social change. What I like about it, and particularly that it’s the beginning of the anthology, is that it follows the model of starting something the way you want to finish it. If you are attempting to create a structure to change power dynamics in society, you have to address power dynamics within that structure first. An organization which privileges groups already in power, cannot hope to reverse power dynamics in a larger society. Much of the advice seems to be addressed towards leaders, and what they can do within the operations of their own activism to create social change. I think it could be easiest put as “meta-activism”: learning to allow more voices in the group to contribute, recognizing others’ contributions to your work, making sure you’re getting feedback and asking others’ what they think needs to be done. All of it is valuable but one tip especially seemed to be looking straight at me demanding my attention:

Think about and struggle with the saying, “you will be needed in the movement when you realize that you are not needed in the movement”.

My first reaction is the gut response I get when anyone calls out my privilege – that of feeling picked on. The pouting-”It’s not my fault I was born into this situation, I’m doing the best that I can, I HAVE ALL THE BEST INTENTIONS”. Now, having had the experience of being slapped in the face repeatedly with my own privilege, and learning to understand it, and do my best to confront it – I figured that I could, like with all these challenging statements, eventually “get it” and begin working to incorporate it into my activism. And I do think I get it – it’s important to know that the movement is “bigger” than you, and especially as a someone who is often put into the position of “leader”, you have to get past your pride-what you think is best, what makes your event look most successful, what satiates your guilt the most.

—-

Looking back at this same quote now, in 2011, what sticks out to me is how much I have needed the movement myself. Not just the message of body sovereignty, but also as a way to feel active & connected to a community. I’ve lived in 4 different cities in the last 2 years, but this activism is something I’ve always come back to and been a place where I feel at home. I tend to be pretty quick to step into leadership roles – maybe it narcissism, maybe its a role that best suits my personality - but I find myself perpetually on an organizing committee or board, and that’s where I wanna be. It keeps me active, inspired, impassioned… and gives me a sense of having a home base. 

It seems pretty clear to me now that I’ve always needed the movement WAY more than it has needed me. And that’s kind of the beauty of activism, isn’t it?

“Manorexia”, “Metrosexuals” and belittling male experience of eating disorders.

Note: I’m going through and finishing some of my drafts from way back when, so some of these articles will be a little out of date.

New York magazine reports that the British mannequin maker Rootstein is releasing a new skinnier model: the “Homme Nouveau,” which has a 35-inch chest and a 27-inch waist. Mannequins have been growing smaller for men, the magazine reports:

THE CLASSIC: 1967, 42” chest, 33” waist
THE MUSCLEMAN: 1983, 41” chest, 31” waist
THE SWIMMER: 1994, 38” chest, 28” waist
THE ANDROGYNE (“Homme Nouveau”): 2010, 35” chest, 27” waist

In comparison, the average American man has a 39.7 inch waist. The article connects the smaller mannequin size to a growing pressure to be thin for men, and increased rates of eating disorders among men. According to The Prevalence and Correlates of Eating Disorders in the National Comorbidity Survey Replication in The Beauty Myth, 25% of Eating-Disorder sufferers are men, up from 10% in 1990.

I am glad to see coverage of male ED, which is often overlooked, but what’s frustrating is how the information is framed. The article is entitled “Manorexic Mannequins”. Manorexia as a term implies that men with eating disorders experience of ED is somehow lesser or perhaps even more trivial than women. It’s not a clinical term, it’s just a not-so-clever portmanteau, that makes it seems like men don’t have “real” ED, just some offshoot of it, and lumps all eating disorders for men into a singular category.

Even more stilted is the explanation for the increase in “manorexia”:

One of the side effects of metrosexuality seems to be the affliction of men with the same unrealistic body images that women have been dealing with for years.

For me, “metrosexuality” is just another term we use to trivialize expression of male sexuality that is deviant from a straight,cisgender, and physically dominanant  narrative about whet it means to be a man. Being ”Metrosexual” means one takes way more interest in his appearance than a “normal” man would. It follows a  faulty line of reasoning that gay men inherently care more interest in their appearance (read: are more feminine), and any straight man who does so is just a little more towards gay on the scale.

In short, “Manorexic”, “Meterosexual” and the linkage of the two marks body image and eating disorders as issues irrelevant to “real” men, but rather problems that ensue when men begin to act more effeminate. The assertion that metrosexuality brings the “same unrealistic body images that women have been dealing with” argues that there are no questions of body image inherent in traditional masculinity. Uhh… which is false.

Stepping Outside the Beauty Industry -or- I hate your corporate “love your body” campaign

Okay. Here’s what I really think of Dove’s “Real Beauty”, Ruby the Fat Barbie, and all the other corporate body positive campaigns. They are corporate. They are part of a beauty industry that makes money off of women feeling bad about their bodies. And they are really good at it. Any campaign paid by corporate dollars to encourage women to be body positive is a distraction. Their major goal is to still make money off of women buying products, and they just found a different way to do it, by tapping into a thriving and vibrant movement, and distracting it.

They're even trying to steal our catchphrases!

In Social Movement Theory, it’s called co-optation, one of the five ways social movements can decline.

Co-optation occurs when movement leaders come to associate with authorities or movement targets more than with the social movement constituents. For example, a leader could be asked to work for the organization that is the target of a movement with offers of being able to change things from the inside. Instead they themselves become integrated into the organization and take on its values, rather than the social movement’s values. Leaders could also be paid off by authorities or target groups who ask them to redirect their activities in exchange.

A big example is the plus size fashion industry. Rejecting beauty norms and celebrating fashion as a fat person can be pretty radical, and I love my fatshionistas for that. But the industry does not have empowerment in mind, it has money. And we have to remember that. Fat Waitress said it really well in her speech Public Speaking and Activism in Unsafe Spaces

With the continued growth of the plus size fashion industry and a larger selection of styles for fat women and men to choose from; how clothes can be a political form of activism gets muddled by the ways in which the fashion industry sells us clothing. Messages from clothing manufacturers often tell us we can use clothing to buy our own identity or sense of personal agency. Wearing things fat people are not suppose to wear does challenge people to think differently about fat bodies but you are still going to be subject to fat prejudice. So by believing you can change or hide your fatness through clothing ignores the overwhelming fat stigma people face on a daily basis. It also stops people from understanding the root cause of fat prejudice, which is not the appearance of fat people, but the deep seeded fat hatred ingrained in us from an early age.

The main reason plus size-clothing manufacturers exist in the first place is to make money. While they do try to fill in the gaps ‘straight’ size manufacturers ignore, almost all big names still try to please the masses who do not want to live in fat bodies and believe we all want to appear as thin as possible. With the tremendous number of products like body shapewear or panels in pants to hide bellies or “bad spots” imply there is something inherently wrong with living in a fat body without shame of any part of your body. While they carry these products due to demand, to truly encourage fat positive ideals, they should be pushing for their customers to live in their body with pride for their body, their whole body, not just parts of their body.

We should also be pushing ourselves and eachother to live outside the beauty industry. Stepping outside of consumer culture rejects a beauty industry that is expert at making us feel terrible about ourselves and our bodies. Women creating and manipulating fashion on their own shifts beauty norms and puts that power back into our hands.

There is also  plenty to say about how the forces of consumer capitalism detrimentally affect women worldwide. A big one is how demands for lower costs in clothing and other products (coupled with corporate greed) pushes labor costs down, and with it, worker’s rights. This report from Oxfam, although a few years old, is a pretty comprehensive look at women’s work in global supply chains.

People reading this who know me well know that I don’t always live up to my political views in terms of how I shop. But I’m trying. I have found that cultivating my personal style, from a mixture of items I buy, buy used, or repurpose has really improved my body image. I’m never going to look like a model, and I’m never going to be able to achieve the “real” fashionable look – clothes just don’t fit on me that way, and I refuse to buy any more products that try to squish my body until they do. Getting my clothes used or wearing them in different ways lifts me from that pressure to look just like the model did in that ad – and I find it  freeing.

There are a lot of options out there for how we can step away from the beauty industry and consumer beauty culture. Here are some of my ideas.

• Clothing swaps – You can do this with friends, or find somewhere else where they’re organized like on fatshionista’s fatshionxchange.
• Repurposing – I lost some weight this past year, and now a lot of my clothes are a couple sizes too big. Rather than replacing my warddrobe I’m taking the “belt it” philosophy. My clothes still can look cute, but in different ways. There are lots of craft sites that also have patterns and ideas for repurposing old jeans into purses, and the like.
• Repairing – Make cute patches, fall in love with your local cobbler, DONT GIVE UP ON THOSE CLOTHES YET.
• Used clothings stores – Old men’s button-ups have been a staple of my wardrobe for years, there’s plenty of other cool stuff to buy.
• Etsy – if you gotta buy new, buy it from someone who made it themselves! There are so many DIY projects on here, and plenty of ideas for how to do it on your own.
• Make your own beauty products – My sister-in-law was raving to me about her homemade deodorant, which is easy to do. Homemade soaps, shampoos, and even makeup can get you out of the mall.

I’m one of those feminists that says its okay to want to look good. It’s okay to want to look and feel sexy. But I don’t want to fall into the trap that buying some item that says “Love your body” on it or shopping at a big store that actually sells clothes that fit HALF THE POPULATION is empowering. It isn’t. Taking control of your personal style and shifting your beauty norms to fit how you want to look is. And you don’t need to buy anything to do that.